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            《散文海外版》2019年第9期|赵丽宏:我是中国人!

            来源:《散文海外版》2019年第9期 | 赵丽宏  2019年09月29日13:32

            三十四年前,我第一次出国。

            那天下午,在墨西哥城,我们几个中国作家走进特奥蒂瓦坎古城时,周围几乎没有人影。贯穿古城的大道在暮色中伸向远方,尽头是太阳金字塔,一座古老雄伟的塔。这里吸引了无数外国人的目光。我们在这条大道上行走时,一群穿红着绿的欧洲游客从一座古庙的残垣后面突然走出来,擦身而过时,他们用惊异的目光看着我们。走近金字塔,已经暮色四合,远方的塔影轮廓模糊了,几乎和深紫色的天空融为一体。一位黑头发黄皮肤的男游客看到我们,微笑着迎上来,表情有点激动,用英语问我们来自哪里,似乎期待我们是他的“老乡”。

            “我们是中国人?!蔽掖笊卮?。

            他先是惊愕,然后面露失望之色,匆匆挥了挥手……

            离开特奥蒂瓦坎时,我的耳畔老是响着那句问话。

            这样的提问,那时在国外似乎已听得耳熟了。在美国,在飞越墨西哥湾的美国飞机上,在墨西哥许多吸引国外旅游者的名胜之地,那些美国人、欧洲人,甚至墨西哥本地人,见面总会这样问。我已经记不清自己重复了多少遍:“我是中国人?!?/p>

            静下心来想想,也是事出有因:那时在国外,穿着旅游鞋背着照相机、兴致勃勃飞来飞去到处旅行的黑发黄肤者中,少有中国人——那时候,能出国旅行的中国人,实在少得很,也难怪外国人要惊诧了。

            在国外,我喜欢逛书店,也希望在国外的书架上找到被翻译成外文的中国书籍,但结果多是失望。那次在墨西哥城最大的一家书店里,我找遍了所有的书架,只看到一本被翻译成西班牙语的《道德经》,是一本薄薄的小书。

            和国外的作家交流时也能感到,中国的作家对外国文学的了解,远远超过外国人对中国文学的了解。外国作家也许知道老子孔子,知道李白杜甫,对中国现当代文学却所知甚少,连知道鲁迅和巴金的人也不多。

            第一次出国,也到了美国。在旧金山,我曾访问一位老华侨。他家客厅的最显眼处,摆着一个中国青花瓷坛。每天,他都要摸一摸这个瓷坛。他说:“摸一摸它,我的心里就踏实?!蔽腋械狡婀?。老华侨打开瓷坛的盖子,只见里面装着一捧黄色的泥土?!罢馐俏壹蚁绲哪嗤?,六十年前,漂洋过海,我怀揣着它一起来到美国??吹剿?,我就想起故乡,想起家乡的田野,家乡的河流,家乡的人,想起我是一个中国人。夜里做梦时,我就会回到家乡去,看到我熟悉的房子和树,听鸡飞狗跳,喜鹊在屋顶上不停地叫……”老人说这些话时,双手轻轻地抚摸这个装着故乡泥土的瓷坛,眼里含着晶莹的泪水。那情景,使我感动。我理解老人的那份恋土情结?;炒ё殴氏绲哪嗤?,即便浪迹天涯,故乡也不会在记忆中暗淡失色。老华侨告诉我,从前,他在海外生活,情感是复杂的,他思念家乡,又为旧中国的积贫积弱心痛。说自己是中国人时,百感交集,常常是苦涩多于甘甜。然而,中华人民共和国成立后,情形不同了,说“我是中国人”时,感觉腰杆硬了,底气也足了。中国是一个苏醒的巨人,正在大步往前走。当时,中国的改革开放开始不久,但巨人的脚步已经开始震动世界。

            然而,走出国门看世界,在那时,对大多数中国人来说似乎还是遥远的事情。那位老华侨曾经这样说:“家乡人要出一次国,不知有多难。什么时候,我可以在家里接待来自家乡的人呢?”

            那次回国后,我在一篇文章中这样感叹:

            “‘我是中国人!’在远离祖国的地方,我一遍又一遍地说着。今后,一定会有越来越多的中国人像我一样,走出国门,骄傲而又自信地向形形色色的外国人这样说。所有人类可以到达的地方,中国人都可以到达也应该到达。我相信有这样一天,当‘我是中国人’的声音在远离中国的地方连连响起时,那些蓝色、棕色的、灰色的眼睛再也不会闪烁惊奇?!?/p>

            2001年夏天,访问澳大利亚。那是一个夏日的夜晚,在维多利亚州菲利普岛,来自不同国家的旅游者在一片海滩上聚会,为的是同一个目的:看企鹅登陆。每天晚上,会有大批企鹅从这里上岸。这是澳洲的一个奇观。坐在用水泥砌成的梯形看台上,看着夜幕下雪浪翻涌的大海,海和天交融在墨一般漆黑的远方。坐着等待时,听周围人说话也是一件很有意思的事情。到这里来的人群中,有说英语的,有说法语的,而耳畔最多出现的语言,竟然是中文!而且有各种各样不同的中文,普通话、广东话、闽南话、东北话、四川话、苏北话,还听到两个老人在说上?;啊谠独牍镣蚶镏獾暮L采?,听到如此丰富多彩的话语,那种奇妙感和亲切感,真是难以言喻。当时想起十六年前我访问墨西哥,在玛雅古迹游览时,没有人相信我来自中国大陆。时过境迁,十六年后,坐在南太平洋的海岸上,竟会遇到这么多中国人!

            2012年秋天,访问荷兰,有机会去了一趟画家维米尔的故乡代尔夫特。这是一座古老的欧洲小城。在一条显得冷清的小街上,我走进一家书店,本以为在那里很难看到中国的文学作品,没有想到,在书店入口处最显眼的地方,陈列着英文版莫言的小说。大红的封面,层层叠叠,堆得像小山。很多荷兰人站在这座小山边,静静地翻阅着。在外国的书店里看到中国的书,已经不是稀奇的事情。

            2018年夏天,在遥远的智利,我走进大诗人聂鲁达在黑岛的故居。迎接我的智利诗人们微笑着用中文说:“你好!欢迎!”聂鲁达故居博物馆在这里为我举办了一场朗诵会,发布我在智利出版的西班牙语版诗集。在聂鲁达曾经激情吟唱的大海边,人们用西班牙语和汉语朗诵我的诗。这真是梦幻一般的情景。

            前不久,我和莫言一起访问阿尔及利亚。在首都阿尔及尔,我们走进一家临街的法语书店。琳琅满目的书架上,我们看到很多被译成法语的中国当代文学作品,莫言发现两部自己的法译本小说。离开书店时,书店主人大概认出了莫言,大声喊道:“莫言!CHINA!”

            如果时光退回到七十年前,谁会想到似乎辽阔神秘的世界会离中国如此近呢?在国外,几乎已经没有机会介绍自己是中国人,因为人人都知道,没有必要再说??墒?,在我心里,这五个字比从前更使我骄傲:“我是中国人!”

            (选自2019年第9期《散文海外版》,原载2019年7月3日《人民日报》)

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